Introduction
The peace maker
authored by Ken Sande is a life changing book that talks about how one can
solve personal conflict. Talking about Peace makers, Sande defines them as
people who breathe grace, whose desires are continually on the goodness and
power of Jesus Christ and then they bring his love, mercy, forgiveness,
strength and wisdom to the conflict of daily life. In this summary I discuss
the main arguments of ken Sande in a summary form. This book is dived in four
main parts as shown below.
Summary
of peace maker by ken Sande
Ken Sande prefaces his
book by saying that God desires
delights to breathe his grace through peace makers and use them to dissipate
anger. Improve understanding, promote justice and encourage repentance and
reconciliation. Conflict robs us of immeasurable time, energy and opportunities
in ministry or business. Worst of it all it can destroy our Christian witness.
When Christians learn to be peace makers, they can turn conflict into
opportunity to strengthen relationships, preserve valuable resources and make
their lives a testimony to the power and love of Christ.
Part
one: Glorify God.
The big question here
is “How can I please and honor God in this situation?” He bases his arguments
in this part of 1 Corinthians 10:31. He urges that peace making is motivated
and guided by a deep desire to bring honor to God by revealing reconciliation,
love and power of Jesus Christ. We can find freedom from the impulsive self
centered decision that make conflict worse and bring praise to God by
displaying the power of the gospel in our lives. This part is divided into
three chapters as shown below;
Chapter
one: Conflict provides opportunities
He bases his thoughts
on Matthew 25:21. In this chapter, he presents the slippery slope of conflict
management which has three responses. These include; the escape response which
he calls peace faking, the peace making response which he calls peacemaking and
the attack response which he calls peace breaking. The slippery slope requires
that one stays on top for the peace making process to be successful. Many of
the responses associated with escape and attack responses to conflict can be
prevented by learning to look at and respond to the conflict in a biblical way.
In doing so, conflict gives us an opportunity to serve others.
Chapter
two: Live at peace
This chapter is based
on Romans 12:18. God delights to make his children instruments of peace and
reconciliation in the midst of conflict. Paul gives three dimensions of peace
and these include; peace with God, peace with others and peace yourself. Peace
is part of God’s character for he is frequently referred to as a God of pace.
Whether conflict involves minor irritations or major legal issues, God is eager
to display his love and power through us as we strive to maintain peace and
unity with those around us. Peacemaking is not an optional activity for a
believer.
Chapter
three: Trust in the Lord and do good
The underlying
scripture here is psalms 23:10b. In times of conflict, one must decide on
whether or not to trust God. Trusting in God doesn’t mean that he will do all
one wants but it means believing that he will do everything he knows is good.
Failure to place trust in God makes us trust others and ourselves thus leading
to grief. Believing and trusting in God allows one to see conflict not as an
accident but as an opportunity. This glorifies God and inspires the
faithfulness needed for effective peacemaking.
Part
two: Getting the log out of your eye
The big question here
is “How can I show Jesus’ work in me by taking responsibility for my
contribution to this conflict?” in answering this, he bases his views on
Matthew 7:5. Attacking others only invites counter attacks. This is why Jesus
teaches us to face up to our own contributions to a conflict before we focus on
what others have. This is divided in to the following;
Chapter
four: Is this really worth fighting for?
This chapter is based
on proverbs 19:11. In the peacemaking process, one should define issues,
overlook minor offenses, check his/ her attitude and change it and there after
count the cost of what will come out of the conflict. Many conflicts require a
lot of time and effort to resolve them but there are far more that can be
resolved by overlooking minor offences or relinquishing rights for the sake of
God’s kingdom.
Chapter
five: Conflict starts in the heart
This one is based on
James 4:1. The progressions of a conflict are linked to ones desire. Unmet
desires have the potential to working themselves deeper and deeper into our
hearts. This ten makes one to demand for them and eventually judge others. If
the demands are unmet, in the process one will punish thus leading to a
conflict. Whenever we have a serious dispute with others, we should always look
carefully at our own hearts to see whether we are being controlled by unmet
desires that we have turned into idols. They sometimes disguise themselves as
things we need or deserve or are those that would adverse God’s kingdom. God
delights to deliver us from our slavery and as we break free from our desires,
peacemaking becomes more effective.
Chapter
six: Confession brings freedom
This chapter is based
on proverbs 28:13. Peacemaking restores and for the restoration to be done, it
involves four activities which include; repentance which is more than a
feeling, examining oneself, confession and personal change. A lot of emphasis
are put here on confessions pointing out seven "A"s which stand for
Addressing everyone involved, Avoiding if, but and maybe, Admitting
specifically, Acknowledging the hurt, Accepting the consequences, Altering your
behavior and Asking for forgiveness. To be a peace maker, you have to deal
honestly with your contribution to a conflict.
Part
Three: Gently Restore
This part of the book
is based on Galatians 6:1. The main question here is "how can I lovingly
serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this
conflict?" When others fail to see their contribution to a conflict, we
sometimes need to graciously show them their fault. If they refuse to respond appropriately,
Jesus calls us to involve respected friends, church leaders or other objective
individuals who can help us encourage repentance and restore peace. The
chapters in this part include;
Chapter
seven: Just between the two of you
The main scripture
here is Matthew 18:15. In the restoration process, overlooking the sins of
others may seem best but there will be times when doing so only prolongs
alienation and encourages them to continue acting in a hurtful manner. Having
known that someone has something against you, you should go to that someone and
talk to them in person as soon as possible. if ones sins are dishonoring God,
damaging your relationship, hurting others or hurting that person, the most
loving and helpful thing to do is go and help him or her see the need for change.
With God's grace and the right words including your confession such a
conversation will often lead to restored peace and stronger relationships.
Chapter
eight: Speak the truth in love
The main scripture
here is Ephesians 4:15. Speaking the truth in love involves bringing hope to a
person through the gospel. With God's help, you can learn to speak the truth in
love by saying only what will build others up by listening responsibly to what
others say and by using the principal of wisdom.
Chapter
nine: Take one or two others along
The main scripture
here is Matthew 18:16. Conflict resolution can be done by talking personally
and privately with someone who has offended you. When personal efforts fail,
Jesus gives more options that are simple but more effective. This option
involves involving other people who can promote understanding and agreement. This
with prayer, wisdom and reliance on the power of the gospel, our efforts can be
used by God to promote just settlements and preserve relationships that would
otherwise have been lost.
Part
Four: God and be reconciled
The main portion of
scripture here is Matthew 5:24. Ken Sande states that the peacemaking process
involves a commitment to restoring damaged relationships and negotiating just
agreements. The main question here is “how can I demonstrate the forgiveness of
God end encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?” He goes further to write that when we forgive
as Jesus has forgiven us and seek solutions that satisfy others interests as
well as our own, the problem of conflict
is cleared away and the door is opened to gain peace. This part is divided in
to four chapters which include the following;
Chapter
ten: forgive as God forgave you
The main portion of
scripture here is Colossians 3:13. Ken Sande puts it clear that reconciliation
is all about demonstrating forgiveness and to rebuild relationships with people
who have offended you by thought, word or deed.
Chapter
eleven: Look also to the interests of others
The main portion of
scripture here is Philippians 2:4. Sande here urges that negotiation does not
have to be a painful tug of war. If approached well, many will respond favorably
to a corporative negotiation which can allow you to find mutually beneficial
solutions to common problems. It takes willingness to look not only to your own
interest but also to the interests of others.
Chapter
twelve: Overcome evil with good
The main verse here is
Romans 12:21. The peace building process does not always go smoothly as we may
like it to be. When trying to ensure that there is success in the peace making
process, a number of important factors should be put into consideration and
these include;
Control of the tongue,
seeking Godly advisors, keep doing what is right, recognizing your limits and
using the ultimate weapon which is the word of God. The principles displayed in
Romans 12:14-21 are applicable at every stage of a conflict and is echoed
throughout the Bible. Applying them can be complex but it is always worth the
effort because God delights tom work in and through us as we serve him as peace
makers.
Bibliography
Ken .S.
(2004). Peacemaker, A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal
Conflict / Edition 3.Baker Publishing Group.
